Prologue

This book is about a journey—a journey through the “fog” experienced by the new widow. I have been on this journey so I can assure you that the “fog” will lift. The piercing ache in your heart and the flood of tears will diminish.

I don’t make this promise out of the store of my own strength, but out of trust in the eternal promise of God: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

I want to share some timeless truths that have guided me through this darkest night of my soul. I want to encourage you to take time to reflect on the good memories and to take time to heal from this gaping wound. It will take time and Jesus.

Jesus is the healer of broken hearts. He is mending my heart as I depend upon Him. If you hand your broken heart over to Jesus, He will mend yours also.

Life is so mundane and so daily. I want to give you some practical pointers for dealing with the round of everyday life as you journey through the “fog.”

I have been there. I have longed for Adrian’s arms to be around me and to seek his counsel in difficult issues that have come since he passed away. I have said to myself, If only I had someone to tell me what to do next! I have cried out to God when I went to bed alone at night, “Help me, help me!” And He did.

I’ve been to the grocery store and wondered, What do I buy now? Before I always thought of what Adrian would want. I’m learning to say, “Thank you for the memories!”

I’m asking the question, “Who am I now that Adrian is gone?” I’m looking to Jesus for help today and hope for my tomorrows. I can assure you that He is more than sufficient to meet all your needs.

I’ve been to the grave, and I know he isn’t there. I know that I should remember, but that I shouldn’t linger. I’m learning to live by faith in a real world—a world in which things don’t always turn out the way you wished.

I’m learning to take this journey one step at a time, leaning hard on Jesus. I’m learning to let Him fight my battles for me. Jesus is the Lord of hosts. He is my spiritual husband’s name (see Isaiah 54:5).

I’m letting Him use my grief to identify with the sorrows of others and to point them through the “fog.” Yes, the “fog” will lift as it has for me. But life isn’t easy. It will always be lived depending on my Guide, the Lord Jesus Christ. He is my good Shepherd. I commend Him to you. If you hold on to His hand, He will lead you through the “fog.”